The Road to Today- “Falling”
So we have covered what my life was from childhood until my marriage (#2), in 2006. You have heard the gory details. I may have put you to sleep, maybe generated a small tear in your eye, and even made you roll your eyes. So to recap, here are the areas of my life broken down into rather wordy entries.
“Addiction of Instant Gratification”
So I got married. Life was good. School was coming. As it approached we noticed the 13 year old seemed to be obsessing over it. He was beginning to repeatedly go over his schedule, the details, how many kids were there, exactly what time would he be picked up, and on and on. Mind you this is July. While we had known he was an introverted personality, we had no idea of the firestorm that was coming. Even better with a change of ownership at my wife’s company, came all new leadership, including her position. So she found herself on the job market. Luckily she quickly landed a contract position through the end of the year. We were going to be ok.
Then School started. We both took the day off to revel in our children’s success at returning to school the younger child LOVED it. He couldn’t stop talking about it. Then came pickup time for the older one. He lasted all of 2.2 seconds after getting in the car before he had a total and complete meltdown. The tears didn’t stop for almost nine hours. Each day got worse. Then the news came from the school. Both had reading delays, and the older one severe.
As the weeks went by my wife was repeatedly called to retrieve the older child from school, as he had ended up in the counselor’s office having what were extensive panic attacks. We began to meet with the schools about their reading and educational delays. Both it was determined needed extensive “re-training”. Translation private tutoring for the school year to the tune of $24,000. Or $12,000 apiece for specialized tutoring. That couldn’t be budgeted for, so in debt we went. Then began the therapy and medication for the older child.
He was diagnosed with severe depression, OCD, and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Masked during his home-school years, and then exaggerated by puberty. As the process began the meltdowns continued. We finally after many battles everyone determined that the older child would be placed on home based instruction for the remainder of the school year. It started out ok, but as the year went on the schedule got tougher. When my wife’s contract ended in December of 2007 we found that there was no way for her to work, while managing the chaotic schedule of psychologists, psychiatrists, and meetups with teachers, and tutoring. The hope was that she would return to work as soon as things settled down. They didn’t.
By the time the school year ended we found ourselves $40,000 in debt. It was not ideal but manageable.
Then the final straw came. The boy’s father took my wife to court over the child support. Basically if he was going to pay it he wanted to pay less. He made it clear that if she fought him on money he would restart a custody fight. Another $15,000 later, he agreed to allow an adoption. While it wasn’t ideal it was the right thing for the children.
Then in June we found out we were expecting. My wife went back to work, and we hoped for the best.
Then came the realization that our debt has reached 70K.
Tomorrow is the final chapter in the “Road to Today.”
~Another Day
That reads like a financial and personal horror story. How did you survive?
Wow. That’s a lot to fall on one person (family), but you know, for my kids I’d do it, too.
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