Build Tomorrow - Another Day Of Life

I have spent some time talking about how I grew up in a frugal family.  How something like a dying parent, and the emotional toll that can cause can lead to perceived holes in your life.  People deal with those holes in many ways.  Mine was to spend, and get that “Instant Gratification” that came with a new purchase.

In 1991 after I graduated High School, I was ready for college.  I was not overly concerned, as my parents were footing the bills for my sister’s college (she was now beginning her senior year at a state college), and I would be attending a state school as well.  I was covered.

Then suddenly the company my father had worked for was gone.  Bankrupt.  He had just accepted a voluntary retirement buyout, and the money would have allowed us to continue our normal lifestyle for a year.  At 51, he was going back to work, so he wasn’t overly concerned.

With the bankruptcy all of that changed.  My sister and I were both fine for the fall semester.  We limped along, the benefits of my parents frugality covering us.  Spring was another story. 

Knowing that my sister was only one semester from graduation, they paid for her full semester.  As I stayed home for college to help care for my now very frail mother, I had continued to work.  I paid for my spring semester.

My father realized that where we lived in New York at the time, it would be difficult for him to find a job doing what he knew.  So he sold the house and moved us to Pennsylvania.  My sister returned home after college in the spring of 92’ to help care for my mother.  The period of unemployment had drained my parent’s reserve.  Being somewhat bitter I returned to NY and continued to put myself through college, on my own and borrowed money.

In the summer of 93’ as I entered my senior year of college, my mother passed away.  It devastated me.  Though we had known for many years it was coming, my being so much like her it was hard for me to cope.  I moved to Pennsylvania, for three months, helping my father and sister deal with the loss of my mother, never addressing my own feelings of hurt, and anger over everything the last few years had brought.  When I returned to school I threw myself into my work, graduating at the top 10% of my class.

Now 30K in debt, and struggling emotionally I took jobs I hated professional jobs.  Even worse I spend almost as much as I made on “going out”.  Parties, bars, and the like became my after work ritual.  I never became a heavy drinker, or ever even tried drugs.  I had become an Emergency Medical Technician in 1990, and saw the damage that did to people. It helped to save me from a downward spiral I would never have been able to control.

Finally I took a job as a 911 dispatcher.  I liked the job, but not the pay.  One winter night in 1997, while on a call, my partner lost his grip on a stretcher while going down some steps.  I twisted my back in a way it wasn’t designed to go in, severely injuring the nerves.

I could no longer ride the ambulance.  I was placed on 14 weeks of disability while I attended physical therapy.  At the end of the 14 weeks I was ready to return to my EMT days, and hiding from myself.  

I remember the last appointment with the neurologist.  He told me that though my back had healed well the nerve would always be damaged.  If I chose to continue my ambulance career it would only get bad again.  I needed to stay away form it, maybe in a few years he told me.

I went home devastated.  I was now 40K in debt, delinquent, and avoiding answering my phone for fear it was a debt collector.  My sister had gotten married and moved back to our childhood home town in Virginia.  A few days before my Dad had told me he was doing the same.  He had been happiest there.

As I sat there that night in the darkness of my apartment, I thought about my mother.  How sad she would be if she new what had become of my life.

It was in that moment the first life altering change came.  It came from me.

The next day I Subletted the reminder of my lease, sold all of my furniture, and packed up the rest of my belongings.  I resigned my dispatching job, and called my father.  I asked if he would let me live with him.  He agreed, knowing how rough it was for me.  With that I said my goodbyes, and went home…..

More soon.

~Another Day

Related Posts

• The Road to Today- “Falling”
• The Road To Today-”Market Meltdown”
• The Road to Today-”The addiction of instant Gratification”