The Road to Today-”The addiction of instant Gratification”
I last told you how my lifelong understanding of finances came to be. I would say that in most cases a person can carry the financial lessons they learn to adulthood. That was not the case with me. My parents were without a doubt frugal, and those were lessons I kept throughout life, but the other problem that impacted my life was that my mother was dying.
Diagnosed with MS, when I was three she was diagnosed with the worst kind of the disease, “Primary progressive”. At the time many of the drugs that are available today we not yet even though of. As the disease as well as some other medical conditions as a results of the medications at the time took her from us over the course of 16 years (more about her later) there became an increasing gap in my life.
Once I hit High School I hit the job market. Starting out as a paperboy, and graduating to other areas, I began earning an income. I picked some jobs that were where wealthy people docked their boats and ate (we lived near the water). I got good tips, and good wages. At the time not having to worry about rent or school (heck my parents were paying for college), I used the money on things. To this day I can’t relate many of what I bought, but things in general. It felt good.
The frugality I had grown with and the hole created by my family life were now replaced with this fuel to buy, and the addiction of instant gratification became the perfect escape. I made what at the time was a lot of money for a 16 year old, and spent almost every dime of it. Cars, Tapes (cd’s weren’t big yet) all of that was filler for whatever hole I felt I had.
That addiction and instant gratification made me happy. Of at least I thought it did. When high school ended, I prepared for college, not worrying about money as my parents were paying for college.
Then the bottom fell out for my parents, and I was stuck in bottom as it fell.
More Tomorrow.
~Another Day
I grew up with frugal parents, too. They never made spontaneous purchases. We made do. We grew a huge garden every year and canned and froze. Dinner out was a treat, NOT a way of life. We stayed home a lot. I can pretty much pin down when I lost sight of all that. It was when I got married. My husband definitely didn’t come from a family that handled money well and somewhere along the way, he acquired the feeling that having “stuff” makes him a success and he’d never admit it,but I see it in the way he acts with the kids……he tries to buy everyone’s love, respect, etc. with stuff. Generosity is a good thing, but he will give even if it causes us to suffer. After 24 years I don’t think I’m going to change him, I just try to do as much damage control as I can.
He sounds a lot like my wife. Her family is still very much that way. Next week I’ll discuss more where I got off track, back on track, and then off track again. This time it was a lot less about poor spending as opposed to one emergency after another. It’s not a great excuse, but I know where 40% of all of the debt came from at least. Thanks for Stopping by!
~Ian
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