Build Tomorrow - Another Day Of Life

When I wrote my post yesterday on Personal Finance Sites for everyone, I was a bit surprised at the response. It is a subject that everyone has a vested interest in. A site suggested by one of my readers was “The Simple Dollar” another personal site written by Trent Hamm. I did take a look at it, and have added it to the same must read financial sites, such as Frugal Dad, and Blogging Away Debt.

I found his tale of self destruction fascinating. And very different from mine. So to me when you stop to think that so many of us end up in this debt world, but we all took different routes to get there.

So how did I get here? Well that’s actually a story of it’s own because I got here or close to here twice in fact.

Growing up we were not poor. We were the average middle class, with 2 kids dogs a house and a mortgage. What was different were my parents backgrounds. My father grew up in a family of money. Though the never hesitated to meet the necessities for life, his parents were not and still are not flaunters. They truly believe that money is something that can evaporate over night.

My mother was a war refugee, who came to the US with nothing. No language and not a dime to her name. By the time her parents died they had amassed enough money to live out their retirement years, but growing up even the necessities were hard to come by. Shoes, clothing, and anything above their meager existence were considered luxury. Her family pulled themselves out of that existence. My mother never forgot what it was like to come from it though.

Growing up we never needed for anything. There was always food on the table, a warm house, and money for the occasional family vacation. We didn’t get the wants like cable TV, or new electronics like VCR’s when they first came out. We were in fact many times the last kids on the block to get anything like that. When we did get those things, it was because my sister and I earned the money (at least half) by doing chores, or odd jobs. Usually once we came up with half my parents would provide the other half. We were expected to save half of any money we made, and make some charitable donation yearly.

Our lives and purchases always had to fit the “Needs/Want Test”. Needs were always paramount, followed by the wants test, that had a very strict rating criteria (more on that in a later post). Then once the needs were fulfilled, the wants should be addressed.

Sounds great right? WRONG! What that did was without always understanding the reasons, such as my mother’s life, which we knew little of until later in life. Or ever letting a frivolous want slip by you can feel deprived. Then someday when the money is yours to decide what and when, you are like an addict. And that is where it all begins. In my next post I’ll relate how “The addiction of instant Gratification” almost bankrupted me.

~Another Day

Welcome folks, and thanks for joining us for another edition of Way Back Wednesday.  Another week for Movie trailers.  Let’s jump forward to the beginning of the “yuppie generation”.  The movies for today helped define Pop Culture for the 80’s.

Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi-1983

Return of the Jedi, directed by Richard Marquand, this George Lucas penned film was the third film released in the Star Wars saga and the sixth and final in terms of the actual timeline, though three more films were made as “prequels”

E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial-1982

E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial was co-produced and directed by Steven Spielberg, written by Melissa Mathison.  It launched the careers of Henry Thomas, and Drew Barrymore.  Spielberg later said that the character of ET was based on an imaginary friend he created for himself during his own parents divorce. It has been ranked the best science fiction film ever made in a Rotten Tomatoes poll. The alien became likened to Jesus.  It has been re-released twice.  Spielberg has said it was the epitome of his best work.

  Poltergeist-1982

Poltergeist was released in 1982 and nominated for three Oscars. The film was directed by Tobe Hooper and was co-produced and co-written by Steven Spielberg.  The film itself has grown into a legend because, claims that it was cursed because of the murder of Dominique Dunne and early death of Heather O’Rourke.  It was the most successful of the franchise.

And that’s all for this week.  Please join us here again next week. 

~Aslan

I have decided that each week I will review some of the sites I visit.  The idea came from my past “Spotlight Blog” of the week, and an article I read today.

The article on CNN Money was about some of the best personal finance websites.  They discuss sites such a Mint.com, Geezeo.com, Wesabe.com, and Yodlee.com.  Yodlee is one of the oldest, and handles much of the online account tools for the popular home finance suites such as Microsoft Money, and Quicken.

According to the authors Joe Light, Ismat Sarah Mangla and Pat Regnier, Yodlee is the frontrunner, followed closely by Mint.  I haven’t had the opportunity to visit any of these sites yet, but I plan to.

There are a multitude of personal finance sites out there today, as well as personal blogs that discuss debt reduction and personal strategies for eliminating debt.  Two such sites I follow are Blogging away Debt, and Frugal Dad.

Blogging Away Debt is run by Tricia a 30 something wife and mother on a quest to eliminate her family’s debt.  She has had in depth posts about her garage sales, here unexpected windfalls as well as honesty about her setbacks.  Almost 2000 people receive her daily feed (me included), and her honesty is a large part of her appeal.  She frequently has guest bloggers, and replies regularly to her readers and her comments. Starting with over $37,000 in debt we have been able to follow her progress.  She is on target to reduce her debt to under $10,000 by the end of May.  If you need honest motivation this site is a must visit.

Frugal Dad is another personal finance site by none other that the “Frugal Dad” himself.   His site takes a “conservative” approach to personal finances.  In addition to his frequent posts he is often posting excellent money making tips and educational information to involve the whole family is resolving debt.  He wrote an e-book entitled: “The 7-Day Turnaround: One Week to Change Your Family’s Financial Destiny.”  He sells this e-book via his website for only $2.00.  I also read his blog daily and am one of his 714 feed recipients.  He offers excellent tips on why debt is bad, tips for being frugal, and a straight forward approach to debt.

The third blog I found was through the CNN article, called “Get Rich Slowly”, by JD Roth.  He writes with authority on how to get out from under debt, and move forward to find ways to beat the vicious debt cycle.  With posts such as “Cheap alternatives to cable television”, “An introduction to square-foot gardening”, and “How to get out of debt”  he delivers straight information from his personal experiences.

If you have time I would highly recommend these blogs. 

The original CNN article may be found here.

~Another Day

As you could tell, the end of last week had me feeling completely beaten down.  While that mood is not completely gone, it has improved, even if only a bit.  I had some readers give words of encouragement, which I thank them for, it means a lot.

I am generally the strong one in our house.  I try to keep the brave face, to give everyone the impression that everything will be OK.  That gets to be hard to do, and last week was a build up of that measure, finally collapsing all of that strength like a crumbling wall. 

Yesterday I got a bit of a recharge from an unlikely source.  Our six week old son.  He helped me by doing something we all need.  Showing me unconditional love and trust.

We all slept in yesterday.  When we finally woke up we knew that we had missed our target time for making it to church.  To be honest I was not overly disappointed, I did not really want to go myself.  I wanted the day off.  After he awoke, and got his mommy and me time, my wife handed him over so that she could run downstairs and get herself some water, and eat some cereal.  I sat quietly and talked to him, and got my grins and attempts at a laugh as I made odd sounds, and faces at him.  After a few minutes I changed his diaper and put him belly down on my chest where he could see his mommy eating her cereal, and gaze at her lovingly. 

After a few minutes the sound of the pacifier slurping seemed to quiet and he squirmed he way up my chest so that his head was resting squarely over my heart.  Slowly the arms made their way out from under him, one hanging down my side and the other gripping the neck of my shirt tightly.  And then with a pop, his pacifier shot out of his mouth and I hear him sigh a deep sigh of contentment, a sigh of love and happiness. 

I was for him at that moment a place of safety.  A place of comfort.  All he wanted was may hand slowly rubbing his back, and speaking quietly to him.  He didn’t’ need to hear that it was all ok, or worry abut money or anything that we as “grown-up” people think of.  In that moment he had everything he needed.  So did I. 

I closed my eyes, and listened to him breathe, smelled the now familiar baby smell,  and felt him quietly rustle, as he dreamt about whatever it is that a six week old dreams about, and felt content.  I drifted off myself.  My wife covered him with a blanket, and went on to do some cleaning.  We napped together for what seemed like hours, me feeling the love from him, for being nothing other than “daddy”. 

When he began to stir and finally awoke, I picked him up and told him how special he was, he looked at me and smiled.  At that moment, the only thing that existed in my world was that unconditional love.  It was the best.

~Another Day

So after my post below we got additional information.  It appears we were mislead by the state since January.  They now have determined that what they told us for the last three months was in fact incorrect, and is now just the oppisite of what we have been told.  Basically we owe money they told us we didn’t owe.  So see how much worse it can get.

~Another Day