So yesterday was yet another meeting with Jon’s school. It was a reschedule, as they needed it. Of course we wanted his doctor to attend, but she wasn’t able to attend yesterday. Of course when we asked the school to reschedule, it wasn’t possible, so we just had to attend without the doctor. That didn’t bode well. Then we get a 5 page packet of all of the “observations” they made about Jon. It indicated where some of their needs for behavior change were. It also included a calender that had in pretty much in calculus by next week. Well OK not calculus, but going from about 3 hours a day in the school building, only 15 minutes of which is in a classroom with peers, to a full class schedule. Looking worse. The comes the call that we have to be prepared to discuss his extended school year schedule, and it had to be 100% finalized by June 1, no exception. So with no Doctor on our side, it was 2 vs. 10, a field of battle we have become accustomed to.
The meeting starts much as expected. Talk of the state test, and how he did, and the Asst. Principal, who in the past had said his state test scores mean nothing as far as grade placement, explained that even if he passed his academic classes, he may stay in sixth grade 1 more year. Fight ensues. My wife reminds them he was kept back once, because of his disability, and what impact would it have on him to realize he wouldn’t graduate until he was 20. County Special Ed Supervisor, explains he can has services, and school through 22. I ask if any “22 year old is receiving services”, he says “no”. Remind them we had already addressed that, and everyone agreed that if he passed his academic classes, he should be considered a 7Th grader, it would be good for him to feel as though he accomplished something, and would help get him back to a full time school schedule. Asst. Principal doesn’t agree.
Then something really, really strange happens…..
His school teacher (not his home based teacher) agrees with us. Then the guidance counselor chimes in with his support for us. Then his home based teacher, and then the county consulting teacher. Assistant Principal, and County Supervisor become very quiet. Then out comes the five page report, on their observations. I am ready for round 2. But it never comes. They tell us that these are the things, they have seen, but for someone with Jon’s disability these are all normal behaviors. So there really isn’t much to discuss. That age, and confidence would help him move forward, and change some of his behaviors, but he always does what is asked, and will usually make the right choice on his own. Then they ask us if we would like the report weekly, as opposed to once in a while. Guidance counselor says he’ll email it to me every Friday. My wife has to nudge me in order to close my mouth, as now my jaw is hanging open.
It’s schedule discussion time, and now we are ready, here come the big fight. OK, now I am really confused, when they had us a blank one, as opposed to the one they had sent home. “It was too aggressive”, says his school teacher. So we start fresh. We had give and take, we spoke nice, and finished with a schedule everyone (OK maybe not the Asst. Principal or County Supervisor, who have now not spoken in about an hour). Now I am asking my wife to kick me under the table. Just in case I am actually at home asleep but dreaming. Kick comes, but no I am actually awake.
So now I ask about the Summer Schedule. “Let just catch up after the last week of school.” Is the response. Only the summer instructor, and the parents really need to be involved, was the answer from his consulting teacher. Now I am worried. Do I have a fatal condition, and they are all just being nice?
So meeting is closed and we leave and only teachers remain. I figure that this is parent bashing time. I find out today, that instead of bashing, they discuss how we are such caring and involved parents. That they needed to make sure they have the strategies to communicate effectively with us. They say how obvious my wife cares about Jon, and how “knowledgeable”, and well educated I am. (glad that college tuition wasn’t a waste)
So now I wonder what happened. Is it that everyone suddenly agreed, all the letters I wrote, and phone calls to the school administration? Maybe a combination of both, but to me I didn’t win, and neither did they. Jon did.
~Another Day
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